Let me give you a scenario.
You're at a restaurant. It's one of those places that gives you a complimentary bread basket. (So you're not in Europe.) The bread, lucky for you, isn't some sort of plain roll, but maybe some focaccia or a garlic bread. It comes with some herbs on the side in olive oil or some herb butter. The server comes over later and sees that your bread basket is empty. The server asks if you would like another bread basket. You loved the bread so you say, "Of course!" The server says they'll be back with some more bread soon. More bread arrives shortly thereafter.
In this scenario, would you expect to pay for the second bread basket?
No, of course not. I can only think of 3 scenarios when you would: (1) if the menu stated that more bread was extra, (2) if the bread basket is on the menu as an appetizer or a side, or (3) if the server mentioned that, FYI, there will be a cost for another bread basket. If the server offers more bread and doesn't say there's a charge, why would you think there would be one?
Replace "complimentary bread basket" with plate of za'atar-dusted baked pita and the olive oil or butter with labne, and that's exactly what happened at dinner tonight.
We got the bill and saw a $10 charge for pita bread that we had no idea wasn't free. If we knew, we would never have agreed to the extra za'atar pita. We always eat too much bread, leaving not enough room for the entree. So if we knew there was a charge, we probably wouldn't have gotten more, and we definitely wouldn't have gotten two more.
We asked the server why we were never told we would be charged for the extra za'atar pita. Nowhere on the menu did it say there was a charge for more, there was no za'atar pita appetizer on the menu, and she had never once told us we would have to pay for extra plates of pita. Her response? That was why she asked us if we wanted plain or za'atar pita.
Well, yes, you did ask us that. But how are we supposed to infer from that question, which appeared to be a clarification since we had just finished a plate of regular pita (see, we had more than enough bread), that this meant that the za'atar one was an extra charge? So we mentioned again, that she had not said there would be a charge. Her answer? "Well, I asked you if you wanted plain or za'atar. I can't tell you there's a charge."
Excuse me? You can't tell us there's a charge? Why not?
I was completely dumbfounded. I get that some people get all up in arms about hearing prices for specials and think it's uncouth for a server to talk about exact prices. (I'm not one of those people, but I've heard that argument enough times.) But this is different. If someone orders a special and you haven't given the price, they know they're paying for it, just not the exact amount. If we are offered bread, which was given to us without charge the first time, how could we be expected to know that we'd have to pay for more? Saying you "can't" tell us there's a charge makes it sound like you knew you were duping us and knew that we weren't aware of the charge. Sounds shady!
It's unfortunate because we had a really good experience at dinner otherwise. The entrees took forever to come (which seems to be a frequent issue there), but that was okay since we were relaxing and talking (and had eaten so much darn pita). The food was very good, even if some portions were on the smaller side. It was a great experience until we got the bill and that ridiculous response. A bit of a turn-off, really.
The owner tried to make it better by offering us some free dessert. That was nice of him, but we were so full from dinner (and all that pita that we had to pay for). We just wanted our $10 credited back to us.
When we were in Greece, it took us some time to realize that they charged for bread, but that's how they do things in Greece. You pay for bread, you pay for water. Different cultures, different social norms. But in Manhattan, I've never been somewhere where bread wasn't free, and if you offer us more, it should be free too. If there's a cost, say so. Let us make that choice.
Do you think we're totally off base here or do you think our annoyance is reasonable?
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