Aggravation

It was an aggravating day. It wasn't even like anything in particular happened to me but I found myself feeling bitter and annoyed for most of the day. The holiday season is supposed to be joyous, but more often than not these days since I'm working I find myself disenchanted, out of the holiday spirit and stressed out.

So what annoyed me today?

• I couldn't get up in the morning for the xth day in a row. Right after the fallback time change, I thought things were promising. I was getting up earlier, working out. Then the winter doldrums set in, I didn't work out in the morning but instead forced myself to take time out for sun therapy. Now I can't even get up early enough for sun therapy. If the problem is that I need sun therapy to get up, but can't get up early enough to do sun therapy, then what do I do?
• My longest period of uninterrupted sleep according to my Fitbit was after our 6 alarms went off. So, I go to bed, can't sleep, toss and turn, finally fall asleep, apparently continue to toss and turn, and then fall into a deep sleep when the alarm goes off? What is wrong with me?!
• So much to do at work and the time just flies by and I end up behind, as always.
• I didn't "realize" that it was already mid-month. Ask me the date and I'll tell you the correct one, but it hasn't "hit me" that it's already December 14 (now, 15). Our flex request forms are due tomorrow. I haven't even submitted my receipts to get my money back for this year. Could have gotten interest on that money but no, don't have my crap together.
• I had no appetite for most of the day. Am I getting sick again (or am I possibly still sick from October)? Is there something else wrong with me? I usually have an appetite even when I'm sick, which is part of my problem, but I couldn't even finish a granola bar in the morning.
• I just keep eating even though I didn't have much of an appetite. I enjoyed the al dente texture of the pasta salad but I wasn't hungry. I have no self-control.
• I feel like no one actually reads the content of my emails. I re-read them and they were pretty clear, but apparently still misunderstood.
• Still irked by the whole Lowe's thing. The Daily Show's piece on it is perfect, but it really bothers me that there are people out there who just can't accept that Muslims can be normal people.
• There was a protest 2 blocks from the office and there were sirens blaring, people yelling, nonstop loud, loud, loud noise for hours in the middle of the day, making it impossible to think. My head still hurts.
• I ordered dinner and they estimated 30-45 minutes. They didn't confirm for 20 minutes and then said 40-55. So effectively the wait was 60-75?! Not what I bargained for.
• Then I was annoyed that I got so easily annoyed by the delivery wait time thing because they came on time (based on the earlier estimate) and they probably just forgot to confirm, an innocent mistake. And the delivery guy was really nice. When I got to the lobby, he was taking a photo of the ridiculously gigantic wreath with bow in our lobby, which, if I were him, I would have done too.
• Again, no self-control and ate too much for dinner. Also ordered samosas even though I knew I wasn't exercising today.
• Getting home late.
• Not having time to exercise.
• Walking home against the flow of traffic for the people leaving the Broadway shows. Lucky people who get to spend their night at a show instead of at work. Not interested in seeing their joy. (See, I was extremely bitter by this point!)
• Hugh Jackman was outside the theater at the exact time I was walking by. Too short to see him but I did get caught in the meandering mess of people who were staring at him and not watching where they were going.
• My zigzagging down 44th Street was like I was in the game of Flight Control. And not in a good way.
• The insane crowds of meandering people were apparently also in Shake Shack, annoying me to the point where I chose not to even try to get a spoon for our Christmas cookie custard, which was better last time.

Enough b*tching. I was really in an awful mood by the time I got home. But then I got a smile and a big hug from A and he looked so happy and it all drained away. Now I feel sick again and so I decided to vent in the hopes that emptying all the negativity out into this post would drain it from me for good and I could heal myself. Not sure it worked. Maybe I should just go for another hug...