Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Up At Night

I don't know what my problem is. I'm stuck in this unending cycle of sleep late - wake up late - tired all day, and don't know how to get out of it!

I can barely pull myself out of bed in the morning. I know part of it is going to sleep late, but it doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get. I always feel like crap. There have been some "brighter" pockets of days lately when I manage to wake up with some amount of energy, but mostly I don't. Is it because of the weather, cold and cloudy? Is it because the "sun lamp" alarm (whether it's really a sun lamp, I don't know) hasn't been going on lately? Is it a side effect of bad seasonal allergies? Is it burn out because I didn't get to take a sabbatical?

By late afternoon, I'm usually crashing. Food coma? Maybe. But for weeks, I thought I was narcoleptic as I could barely keep my head upright and my eyes open through the entire afternoon. So many of the symptoms lined up. I'm still not convinced that I'm not.

And despite feeling like it was time for bed at 4:30 pm, I manage to get a second (third? fourth?) wind by the time it's actually time to fall asleep and don't manage to sleep until at least 3 am. It's not that I'm exercising too late all the time since I don't even make it to the gym when I feel like I'm going to pass out from standing.

Last night I planned to sleep early as I was a physical wreck through the entire day. What time did I actually manage to get to bed? 3 am, as usual.

And my back is sore all the time with horrible knots all over my shoulderblades. Nothing seems to help. It's like I need 4 hour daily massages for a week and to get a real ergonomic (they claim the current one is but that's hard to believe) office chair (neither is an option).

Any ideas? It's so hard to force myself to go to bed when I know I'm just going to get frustrated at tossing and turning if I'm no longer tired. What do I do?

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